Monday, May 10, 2010

Why Am I So Worn Out?

Happy 2010!

I apologize for the long silence. All has been going well in my world. It has been a little over a year since the foor surgery that changed my life.

I celebrated the one year anniversary of the foot surgery by giving up the wheelchair everyday home use. People have been noticing and commenting on how much better I am walking.

As usual, when things are going well, I tend to forget that I have CMT. I know it is weird to forget because I wear braces everyday and am more than a little wobbly on the best of days. I guess it may be because I have been living with CMT for so long that it is just part of life.

So when I do "regular" things and get exhausted, I get very frustrated. For example, this weekend, Scott and I spent a lovely afternoon at the St. Louis Zoo. We were able to see most of the animals we wanted and walked our little feet off in the process. After a couple of hours, we managed to drag ourselves back to the car. I was tired and sore so Scott brought me home and filled me with ibuprofen.

The next morning, I woke up and could not move. Not only did my legs and feet hurt, but every muscle in my body ached. I slept 12 hours on Saturday night and Sunday night, with 3 hour naps on Sunday and Monday, and I am still exhausted. The muscle aches are slightly better and the foot is no longer swollen, but I am just so tired.

I wish I could do simple things, like enjoying a day in the park, without knowing that I will have to pay in some way. I want to not have to worry about the consequences of spending a nice afternoon outside. I worry that soon doing everyday activities will become too much to handle. Not sure what to do except just accept it and look forward to more naps!

Thanks for reading and God bless,


1 comment:

  1. Accepting our limitations is never easy. Having spent the past 3 days laying in a hospital bed has reminded me of my own frailty, which is very different than yours, but none the less real.
    Being honest with yourself is hard enough, but then needing to tell someone that you either can't do something they want, or that it will need to be done in a way that won't compromise your well-being can be even harder.