Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Little accomplishments

On Monday afternoon, I was given clearance from the physical therapist to transfer into my wheelchair from the couch. At first, I was excited just because I was going to be able to sleep in my own bed. The beautiful reality of the situation didn't really hit until Tuesday morning. For the first time in nearly a week, I fell asleep at my usual time (10:30ish) and woke up at a regular time (6:30)! It was so nice to be back on my normal, comfortable schedule.
I transferred into the chair, brushed my teeth and washed my face, got my Diet Pepsi and breakfast and settled on the couch ALL BY MYSELF!!!!! I was amazed by the confidence and happiness completing these routine tasks gave me. The high (not the Percocet high) lasted all day. Although I have only been laid up for a week, time seems to stretch when you are forced to be dependent on others.
One of my characteristics that I am most proud of is my independence. It is also one of the areas that I could most use growth. I would rather try to accomplish a task on my own and fail, than rely on help from others. This fear of dependence on others has placed me in some bad situations where I have been physically and emotionally hurt simply because I prefer to do things without help.
Through this experience of being laid up, I have learned that "can you help me?" does not mean that I am failing. It is still hard to ask for help because I would rather to do things myself. "Yes, I can!" is easier for me to say than "Please help me!" I am not "cured" yet but continue to grow daily, due to the love of friends, helpers, and supporters.
The opposite of independence is NOT dependence, but is assistance and friendship!
Thank your reading and God bless,

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